This month, a little fly spray and a horse named Duck gave me something to think about.

After a 4,100-mile motorcycle trip, I was happy to find myself back at Due West Ranch. My grandson was attending horse camp there with a couple of his friends, and I enjoyed being with the horses—taking in their presence, their smells, and the simple pleasures of being back at the ranch.

Due West Ranch, owned by Mary Sharp, is also where I have the privilege of doing my Equus (Equine-Assisted) coaching work. Mary has trusted me with her facility and her horses, so when she asked if I would put fly spray on them, I was more than happy to help. 

Summers in Kansas are hot, humid, and horse flies can make being in the pasture uncomfortable for the horses. Following Mary's suggestion, I put a halter on Duck, a flea-bitten gray Quarter Horse. A friend wanted to help and held the lead rope while I sprayed.

As I began spraying, I immediately noticed a change in Duck. His body tightened, his eyes widened, his head came up, and he began pulling back on the rope.

I took the lead rope from my friend because, in that moment, I felt I was the one with the most experience to handle what was happening.

Duck started backing up, and I went with him. I didn't want to let go of the lead rope because I was concerned he could run off and become tangled in it. I held on, while doing my best not to add pressure.

Then, unexpectedly, he tripped and fell.

My heart sank.

My first concern was simply, Is he okay? Is he hurt?

Duck stood up and gave a good shake. I dropped the fly spray, gave him some room, and began talking calmly to him. As I watched his body relax and his eyes soften, I could see that he was okay.

Once I knew Duck was alright, my thoughts quickly turned inward. Had I done something wrong? What did this say about my abilities? And then I wondered what Mary was thinking. She has trusted me to do my Equus coaching work at her ranch—and now her horse had just fallen while I was trying to put fly spray on him.

Moments before, I had felt perfectly capable of helping. Now I was questioning myself.

Sometimes our attempts to help aren't received the way we expect. Duck's response surprised me, and it made me think about how easily we can question ourselves when something we intended to be helpful doesn't go the way we expected.

Did I do something wrong? Maybe. Maybe not. But it did give me something real to notice and explore.

That experience with Duck has stayed with me.

That's one of the things I value about being with horses. They reflect back to us what is happening in the moment, giving us something to notice, consider, and become curious about.

Every person's journey is unique, and so is what they discover. Because of that, I cannot promise specific outcomes. What I do offer is a supportive space for honest reflection and curiosity—a space where individuals can slow down, listen more deeply, and notice what is happening within themselves.

Returning to Yourself Series

This fall, I'm offering three experiential workshops as part of my Returning to Yourself series. Each offers a different opportunity to slow down, reflect, and reconnect with yourself.

August 28— Women & Boundaries

 A space for women to explore boundaries, self-respect, and honest relationships. Boundaries aren't just about saying no; they're about creating space for a more honest yes.

September 11— Embracing Life's Seasons of Change

An opportunity to explore the different seasons we experience in our lives and what it means to recognize and honor the season we're in. Men are welcome to join us for this experience.

October every Friday— When We Listen

A five-week 2 hours per week experience offering space to slow down, listen more deeply, and become curious about what we notice when we truly listen. This experience is open to both women and men.

I'd love to have you join me.

If one of these experiences speaks to you, I invite you to learn more and see if it feels like the right fit for you. Space is intentionally limited so there is room for meaningful conversation, reflection, and connection.

Learn More & Register → knhcoaching.com offerings/events

With warmth from the pasture,

Kathy Shepard